Okay I need to press the pause button on this blog. Unfortunately I believe I have been painting a picture that's not quite accurate or healthy compared to the realities of things. I believe a negative tone has emerged concerning the life I am now living in the middle of seminary, Christian school, and Abilene. Unfortunately this blog catches the brunt of some of my concerned thinking.

I believe a measure of humility is in order here, starting with me. Do I struggle with some of the inconsistencies, systemization, and marginalization of things around me? Yes. Have I come here with the solutions to how everything should be? Not hardly! Coming here with the mindset of "I know a better way" shuts me off completely to some very powerful lessons God is probably desperate to teach me. Prophets are sometimes in order, but I'm pretty sure that's not what God has in mind for me right now. Plus, if this is the mindset I'm going to have, then I'm in for a pretty rough 3 and 1/2 years. There's no need for that. I've been in a total of four weeks worth of classes now, and already I've been opened to some life-changing ideas. Praise God for that!

God has tested me with some fires and a mild "dark night of the soul" in my recent life. But he is once again proving his faithfulness and power, and having me here is part of that. So, does this take away frustrations I may experience in this "Jerusalem," "bubble," "ivory tower," or whatever I may call it? Of course not. Should it give me some healthier perspective on what God is really working to accomplish, despite me? That sounds more like it. So, don't worry about rose colored glasses, but expect less and less of what may be too much tunnel vision on my part.