I really wish I didn't keep feeling like academic theology consists of a bunch of people trying to impress each other with what they know. I'm finding that the GST here at ACU has a funny reputation to many people outside of that particular program, and probably for good reason. Nonethess, after only the first week of classes I've received some benefit, so I suppose there is some good to be had.

I was looking at my student information on the personal ACU website yesterday and noticed that "Chapel Attendance" is a component of the "Accounts and Balances" section. I hope that we don't wonder too hard about why we've consistently produced generations of Christians whose spiritual discipline consists of checking in at the appointed time. Christian school is continuing to rub me the wrong way. Please help me pray that God can keep working on my pride and attitude. I don't want it to ever appear that I don't appreciate being at a place like ACU, where God is obviously doing great things all the time.

One thing that I'm hopeful about is the gradual transformation that I feel God is bringing about in the campus ministry work of the Southern Hills church here in Abilene. I managed to get sucked into service and leadership within this campus ministry, which saw 253 students in class this past Sunday and over 900 at Wednesday's High Impact Praise. These numbers are misleading, though, because our newly formed LIFE Group ministry, which I am very excited to lead, only has ten leaders at this point in time. Ten spiritual leaders out of hundreds?? Hopefully those ten will help raise up committed spiritual giants who will actually take ownership of God's work instead of being just another one of hundreds of attenders. Abilene is amazing at breeding attenders. I've never seen anything like it. Nevertheless, God is working.

I hate writing posts like this that sound negative. But I suppose one thing that I am dealing with in my new "Christian" environment is a tremendous amount of inconsistency all around me. But probably what the truth of that is doing is simply holding a mirror up to my own inconsistency. I am very inconsistent between my own thoughts, actions, and beliefs. I can talk a good talk about spiritual discipline and relationship with God all day. But how does that measure up to what I really do? Right now, not too well. Satan is playing a pretty strategic mind game that I must destroy with what should be a tremendous personal thirst for the presence of God. It's hard for Satan to interrupt a real conversation with God.