I have been a member of six churches now, and have had association with many more. All of the churches of which I have been a member have been Churches of Christ, and have ranged from very conservative to relatively progressive. I have had very special experiences with each one; experiences that have had very important formative influences on me. But one of them is really special in some ways - ways that I was remembering this morning as I listened to a sermon online from the preacher there. And it was a church that I, unfortunately, wasn't able to experience for very long because it was during a transitory period of my life - the Memorial Drive church in Tulsa.

I think I have written some about it before, but I really believe God brought this specific church into my life for very specific reason at exactly the right time. I had come back to Tulsa after a huge spiritual gut punch in Alabama and was pretty dried up. I really didn't think much of church at the time but knew that God still wanted me to be a part of a community. So I wandered. It was truly the first time in my life where I had been on the "other side" - being the "seeker" instead of the one on the inside. Being the one to show up at a church as the lonely visitor. I went several places. I tried my hand at some college groups I knew of and even checked out a Baptist emergent church for a while (which was really great, but God had other plans for me). One night I was sitting in my bed with my laptop and I came across Memorial Drive's webpage, and a line that was displayed prominently across the top really struck me hard as exactly what God was looking to do - "A Place to Start Life Over," which is a mantra that the church takes seriously. I found out they had a college men's group that met on Tuesday nights and I decided to go. Things would never be the same since then.

There is much I could say, and I think I have said some of it before, but Memorial Drive, of course being an imperfect church just like all, probably encompassed the idea of intimate family within a church more than anything I have ever experienced. Something as typically impersonal as Sunday morning worship was, at Memorial, a super close gathering of people that were being spiritually real with each other. I went there for six months and never once were there not multiple people coming forward at every worship service to pour their hearts about in front of their spiritual family. As a result, Sunday mornings at Memorial were often well over two hours long, but no one cared, because it was real. There was a kind of intimacy among the people that I haven't experienced anywhere else and is hard to describe.

I have been in campus ministry for eight years now and have experienced two moments of what I describe as "Holy Spirit" experiences. One of these was while sitting around a house on a Sunday evening with the college students of Memorial Drive. In almost an instant our casual conversation was taken over by a move of God that profoundly affected everyone in the room by the time the night was over. Again, hard to describe.

Anyway, I'm not sure why I was moved to write these things. It probably stems from being on staff now of a church that is trying hard to figure itself out. A church that is well intentioned and loves God and it struggling with how to be the right kind of community. A church filled with a lot of great people who want to try to find the answer in forms and programs - all of which are great but will be limp without a culture of intimate, spirit-led community first.

Anyway, I have lost much of my connection with Memorial Drive in the years since my brief stint there, but the experience stays with me in an important way and I thank God for what he did with me in that community.

Recently I finally finished watching the third season of the TV show Lost. For those of you familiar with the show, a huge theme that runs through the episodes and in the interactions of the characters is deception. Since I have been on a marathon run of this show since the semester ended, I have been watching dozens of hours of people lying to each other. I finished the last episode of season three today, and in a way I am glad to be through with this show for several months because the incessant deception, lying, and conning are wearing on me.

Deception and dishonesty have become somewhat of a sore spot for me, mainly through two significant life events: a powerful minister/employer who used lies to cover up his own life and to try to discredit mine, and a best friend who ended up fabricating large parts of her life in an elaborate con that duped me for years.

As a result, I have become an advocate for total honesty and truth telling between people. I know that at times I have become a little too pushy in this quest, but see two options in how to approach life: 1) Reduce trust in all people because there are some who cannot be trusted, or 2) Increase my efforts to be transparent and open before the people in my life so that they know they can do the same towards me. The first option is safer. It reduces the chances of being taken for a ride by anyone who wants to use you for their own ends. It also means having a basic assumption that everyone wants to use you or lie to you. It means building walls around yourself so that no one can have access and immediately assigning suspicion to humanity at large. The second option is riskier. It means assuming that trust is worth assuming in people because most people are worth trusting. But it means being vulnerable, because their are a minority of people who are willing to abuse that trust. But having trust in people, and having their trust in you, opens a world of opportunity and advantage.

I have found that people, on the whole, are willing to live up to the expectations that you have of them. If you do not trust people, it is obvious and people become less willing to incorporate you into their lives and provide for you because you have a base assumption that they will do the opposite. On the other hand, setting the bar high is a subtle but powerful catalyst to greater openness, honesty, sharing, and giving from people. And it starts with you being that kind of person yourself.

So, yes, there have been two people in my life that have caused me some deep hurt. But how many hundreds upon hundreds have given their all for me and have inspired me to do the same for them? I commit always to living for the hundreds, not for the two.

Apparently I have become an effective QuikTrip evangelist. My friends are now reporting their QT experiences to me with glee. Unfortunately, nobody out of the QuikTrip market understands what could be so great about a convenience store. Until they visit a QT. One friend, who didn't even know about my thoughts on QT, just happened to bring up in conversation the fact that on a recent road trip she went to this "amazing convenience store" called QT. I just smiled. I'll never forget the reaction of a friend of mine (who had been a naysayer) to the QT coffee bar when we walked in.

My favorite experience though was when I was driving a friend to Norman from Abilene and going on and on about QTs, which annoyed her to no end that I was talking this way about a stupid convenience store. When we arrived in Norman I grabbed the first person I saw who I knew was from Tulsa and simply asked her "What do you think about QuikTrip?" Her eyes lit up and she immediately launched into a five minute tribute to QT.

QuikTrip, I'm sorry for taking you for granted during all those Tulsa years. Enduring crappy convenience stores and gas stations since then has taught me a lesson.

So right now I am in the midst of a hundred different things and people I am attempting to manage for campus ministry and my time here on the blog has tapered off. But I certainly will continue to blog as I am inspired and actually make the effort to log in and write.

Today I was corresponding with Terry Rush, who ended up being a strong influence on me at a crucial time of life when I had very little trust in ministers. His eternal optimism and intimate relationship with God created a realness in him despite his high profile famous preacher status. This was important to me. But, anyway, I was reading part of his blog just now and wanted to share one part of his thoughts that ring true to me right now:

I write this today to tell you I feel certain your plate seems to be too small for the load of opportunity you are carrying. First, wouldn't you rather have this life than the cemeterial boredom of nothing happening? And second, don't you continue to catch yourself noticing 5000 needs with only a sack lunch of skill to get to them? And that's why.....we are transformed in our thinking to believe more than us is working this work. Jesus really is our brother/partner. He is back supplying us with the courage to tackle the possibilities giving us reason to be full of enthusiasm.

No comment necessary!

It is during times of heavy change that you always get a little nostalgic for comforting things of the past. I was reading the latest blog post of the wife of one of my ministers while I was in Norman years ago. They had come there for his job and left for Tennessee several years later. But she still had this to say about the place:

As far as cities go, Norman has been my favorite one to live in my whole life probably. It’s just about perfect. Well, the wind can get a little annoying, but other than that I can’t think of a single complaint. I even like the way the roads are laid out! And OU is there, what more can I say?

I'd have to say a hearty Amen. Norman is pretty amazing. Not only is it the place where I really found out how to live life and went through the biggest changes for the better, it is simply a fantastic town. There is no telling where God will take me in the future, but I definitely know that if I ever returned to Norman I certainly wouldn't complain.



{P.S.: I really liked Tuscaloosa too, but I think it was because it was a whole lot like Norman.)

Sorry about the severe lack of bloggage lately. With that said, here goes.


As you may know, I am now planted in Manhattan, Kansas, to begin the career I have been working towards ever since I made the decision to pursue ministry during my junior year of college, which was the 2001-2002 school year. During that time and since then, I have been heavily involved in campus ministry in four different locations around the country, with KSU being by fifth campus ministry stop and my first time as the full-fledged, full time "campus minister." It is the same in a lot of ways, and very different in others.

First of all, this is my dream. I am living the kind of life that I have desired. I am on a state school campus, in a college town, working with a community of Christians that have a strong vision of campus ministry. I am working with students who have an incredible heart for God. I am working in a place where faith is challenged and students must be in engaged in a life of faith and action regarding their relationship with God. This is the kind of place and environment where I have always felt most alive.

One important difference that I must adjust to is that this is the first campus ministry environment where I am coming in as the "top" leader right off. At OU, Alabama, Tulsa, and ACU, I was able to come into a work as a participant until I learned and understood the community and its identity well enough to engage in the kind of leadership that I saw it needed and that I could provide. This time I am setting the agenda and direction from the get go. This necessarily includes more risk that I must accept as the a campus minister who has had very little time to truly understand the dynamics of the community here. But, at the same time, I know that many here are looking forward to fresh ideas and perspectives. I'm praying to God that he will use me and others to perform effectively in this role under his guidance.

Getting rolling as a first time campus minister in a brand new place with a solid history in campus ministry is a tough thing to do. It requires getting organized quickly and prioritizing effectively. It's tough to know exactly where to start. That is on top of trying to form real relationships with students that are not totally influenced by the fact that you are the "campus minister."

Anyway, these are just a few of the interesting places in which I find myself in life now that I have embarked on this new adventure. It is incredibly exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. Which I figure is the right place to be.