I really wish I didn't keep feeling like academic theology consists of a bunch of people trying to impress each other with what they know. I'm finding that the GST here at ACU has a funny reputation to many people outside of that particular program, and probably for good reason. Nonethess, after only the first week of classes I've received some benefit, so I suppose there is some good to be had.

I was looking at my student information on the personal ACU website yesterday and noticed that "Chapel Attendance" is a component of the "Accounts and Balances" section. I hope that we don't wonder too hard about why we've consistently produced generations of Christians whose spiritual discipline consists of checking in at the appointed time. Christian school is continuing to rub me the wrong way. Please help me pray that God can keep working on my pride and attitude. I don't want it to ever appear that I don't appreciate being at a place like ACU, where God is obviously doing great things all the time.

One thing that I'm hopeful about is the gradual transformation that I feel God is bringing about in the campus ministry work of the Southern Hills church here in Abilene. I managed to get sucked into service and leadership within this campus ministry, which saw 253 students in class this past Sunday and over 900 at Wednesday's High Impact Praise. These numbers are misleading, though, because our newly formed LIFE Group ministry, which I am very excited to lead, only has ten leaders at this point in time. Ten spiritual leaders out of hundreds?? Hopefully those ten will help raise up committed spiritual giants who will actually take ownership of God's work instead of being just another one of hundreds of attenders. Abilene is amazing at breeding attenders. I've never seen anything like it. Nevertheless, God is working.

I hate writing posts like this that sound negative. But I suppose one thing that I am dealing with in my new "Christian" environment is a tremendous amount of inconsistency all around me. But probably what the truth of that is doing is simply holding a mirror up to my own inconsistency. I am very inconsistent between my own thoughts, actions, and beliefs. I can talk a good talk about spiritual discipline and relationship with God all day. But how does that measure up to what I really do? Right now, not too well. Satan is playing a pretty strategic mind game that I must destroy with what should be a tremendous personal thirst for the presence of God. It's hard for Satan to interrupt a real conversation with God.

One thing that I love to do every year is help freshmen move into the campus dorm rooms. I've been able to do this now for several years on the campuses of University of Oklahoma, University of Alabama, and now Abilene Christian University. When I showed up on campus at OU next to the Couch Center dorm, a couple of guys from the Chi Alpha ministry appeared next to our car and cheerfully loaded all my junk to the seventh floor. I'll never forget that initial act of service that helped launch my college career. Nor will I forget the countless numbers of boxes, TVs, clothes, microwaves, an entire bags of shoes that I've been able to haul for others since that time.

But much more than seeing someone's day go faster is the larger experience of what is happening on Freshman move-in day: a massive door is opening to a new life. Standing in the middle of a crowded parking lot to catch your breath and looking around reveals interesting things.

Some students are arriving in little cars, alone with not much more than some clothes: They are abandoned, for one reason or another.

Some are with one parent or other family member: Broken homes or circumstances that don't allow their families to participate in this last rite of family living. Some arrive with carfuls of parents, siblings, and cousins.

Some scenes are comical from an outside perspective: Frustrated new students who are upset with the scenes their parents are creating about what needs to be done or what goes where. Some that obviously want these people to leave as soon as possible.

And other are more melancholy: those who stand at the car, embracing for what seems like hours with tears streaming down their faces.

Some say high school graduation is a rite of passage. I disagree. Graduation is a celebration of completion. Rites of passage are the fearful moments of staring something new in the face and stepping towards it bravely. On those days when I am carrying a mini-fridge up three flights of stairs, it is then that I am surrounded by young people that are actually experiencing a rite of passage. New and totally different days begin at that moment. Days that test and change who you really are. Days that will make some, and completely break others. Days that, for better or worse, will largely determine the rest of your life. These are the college years, and I love standing at the doorway to those times every year and helping another cross-section of humanity cross that threshold.