I find it ludicrous when people, especially Christians, say it takes more faith to be an atheist than it does to be a believer. Anyone who has not had enormous difficulties with their religion has not, in my opinion, given it much thought. Anyone who has not struggled mightily with the concept of placing their identity and lifestyle in an idea that has very little direct empirical evidence of existence is someone who needs some exposure to reality. I really detest people (largely some Christians) who will completely shrug off and mock anything that seems contrary to what they think they believe and label it as nonsense. I live in a land now that has some vocal fundamentalists, and the radio waves are loaded with some sharped-tongued Christians who apparently have a lock on total truth - religiously and even politically.

I believe an honest Christian will tell you that it is intensely difficult being so. Faith is something that places hope in things that are not seen or known. God, for whatever reason, does very little appealing to the senses and cannot be measured or proven. That is the enormous risk that faith is - attesting to something that can never be independently validated. Are there signs that point to God? Certainly. But it is a foolish act of hubris to declare anything that does not immediately point to your God or your understanding of him as falsehood.

How many who denounce evolution and Darwinism have actually read Darwin?
How many who have declared Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and the like first rate heretics have truly listened to them?
When did the Bible move from being a poetic narrative of a people into a historically untouchable science textbook?
If Islam, etc, is a lie, then fine, but do you truly know what they believe? And exactly what makes your religion NOT a lie?

The recent revelation that Mother Theresa had serious doubts about the existence of God seems to be a shocker to many people. But I say, OF COURSE she had those doubts! No one that invested into the call of God in their life can go without some major dilemmas of faith. Doing the kind of work that she did with as much obedience to her belief as she had was a huge risk that was only called for by faith. Faith is not always a steady friend, even for the most convicted. So on those days where faith is hard to find, but your whole life is now in a place that was motivated by it, things can get weird. That's when God is hard to see. That's when the perseverance and humility that is built by faith must kick into high gear and take over until God brings that next burst of fresh wind and fire.

Let's not forget that even the most revered heroes of faith in the Bible were men and women who struggled mightily with God.

This is one of the latest videos from my church in Abilene.

Here is a video my friend Pam helped Melinda make to tell her story at Alameda church in Norman not long ago. She was 31 years old. I'm just over four years away from 31. I don't know why it has to be like this.


Here is Rusty Tugman's sermon from this past Sunday regarding Melinda's death.

For the many of you who did not know Melinda, here is a wonderful description of the kind of person she was. Thank you, Amy.

Words cannot expain the kind of loss this is.

I join in the grief of a huge spiritual family in Norman and others around the world right now who knew Melinda Evans - a young, energetic mother with a gigantic smile who was taken tonight by complications of reconstructive surgery after a fight with breast cancer. Melinda and her husband Mark were tremendous supporters in every way of Sooners for Christ. Please pray for Mark and the children right now.

I did not even know until earlier today that things were going badly for her. Mark and Melinda were, during my time there, one of the young couples that had actually stayed around Norman after college and were such a huge spiritual leadership team together in every way. I really do remember Melinda with nothing but a gigantic smile and she helped with various things and made appearances at the Outreach Center. A servant's heart. A leader's courage. A wife's devotion. A mother's love.

You give and take away.
You give and take away.
But my heart will choose to say
Blessed be your name.

Links:

• A good description of Melinda
• The Melinda update blog
• Mark's Blog (with lots and lots of pics of the kids)
  

Last weekend I was in Nashville, Tennessee for the annual National Campus Ministries Seminar (now the Connect Conference). As usual, it was fantastic to meet up with a whole nationwide network of campus ministry leaders I have gotten to know over the years and spent several days together talking about what we all love most.

This year was particularly great because of our featured guest, Dan Kimball. Dan is one of the foremost leaders in the world of Christianity and emergent culture, and one of the greatest experts on the emergent church. He is the pastor of the Vintage Faith Church in Santa Cruz, California. Dan is an interesting character to behold, because his appearance is that of a ultra-Californiaized uber-hipster (complete with superslicked dyed blonde hair), but when he starts to talk you realize that he is an extremely thoughtful, humble, soft-spoken, incredibly intelligent guy (and surprisingly theologically conservative!). And what he has to say about the place of Christianity in a world of emergent culture should be taken seriously by EVERYONE.

Essentially, the Christian subculture no longer has a relevant place in larger society and organized Christianity and the church has lost almost all of its credibility with emergent culture, which no longer has its base in the Judeo-Christian worldview. Thus, the church is essentially a relic. But it doesn't have to be - and there is tremendous hope, because the person of Jesus actually has tremendous interest in postmodern society. This is actually the subject of the latest in a series of books he has written - They Like Jesus but not the Church. What he is pointing out here is absolutely true, even among postmodern Christians. To the world outside of the Christian subculture, Jesus as a historical, philosophical, religious, and worldview leader is actually fascinating, but Christianity is seen as the antithesis of what Jesus really was about. And, in many ways, they are right. Dan's book addresses six of the major perceptions that participants in emergent have regarding the church that is very different from how they see Jesus. Dan's presentations, plus his book, are a tremendous challenge to those of us who live squarely in the middle of the Christian subculture and have a hard time, or even an unwillingness, to break through the thick boundaries and actually engage the real world.

In one of his presentations he performed a shadow puppet demonstration of the circumstances he felt campus ministers were in as those who are charged to be cultural and generational missionaries. It involved the campus minister venturing out of the subculture bubble into the emergent sphere and realizing that things have to be much different, and then going back into the bubble to report these things to his leaders only to be essentially lorded over to conform. Soon enough the pressure becomes too much and suddenly a church plant appears. HMMM!!!

Every now and then I check in on this page over at Wikipedia. Here's how it was looking today:


Sigh.

Here I am at an old coffee shop in one of the most enigmatic places on earth to me: Tuscaloosa, Alabama. So much has changed since the last time I was here almost three years ago. So much new construction on campus. Many old people gone. Lots of new faces. Renovated areas of town. New campus minister. New students.

But so much is the same. There is an aura that surrounds this place that is almost absolutely impossible to describe - it is something that is distinctly different than anywhere else I have ever been - almost like some sort of strange, subtle reality distortion field. I felt it when I first moved here back on January 1, 2004 and I still feel it. This is neither a good or bad thing, it is simply part of the energy that surrounds this place for me, and part of the reason that Tuscaloosa is so enigmatic.

Being here reawakens a lot of amazing memories. Many of these I rehashed with some old friends last night as we sat outside of one of the old favorite dives on the Strip and before we ended up playing Murder at the church building with about 20 people until midnight. Today I'll have lunch at the old City Cafe in Northport, probably head out to the church's dock at the lake for a bit, have a huge southern country dinner made by the .......

[pause....] Just looked over and saw one of the young professors I spent a lot of time with in church and on campus. So now I'm back after 10 minutes of catching up.

[unpause....] lovely DeAnna....

[pause....] one of my old students/friends just popped in for a bit to say hey before moving on to the next job he has as an electrical worker... another 5 minutes of yakking....

[unpause....] (the only college student I have ever known to have a huge deep freezer inside of a tiny college apartment). I truly believe Paul left "Homestyle Cooking" off his list of spiritual gifts, because this has always been a ministry for DeAnna.

All of this leaves me a little sad because I feel like had some unfortunate things that were caused by one important person not happened, I would have had well over twice the experiences here (which already feels like five years' worth) than I ended up having. But I realize that this is selfish thinking because I know that I didn't deserve what I was able to have here, and had it only by the grace of God anyway. He gives and takes away, and he certainly did both to me when it came to my life in Alabama. But, I get to, on occasions like this, revisit this world and bask in the wonders that it did have that still linger. And I continue to have a collection of people that God gave me in Alabama, some of whom have journeyed off to other ends of the country and globe, that I will always be connected to. One poignant moment came near the end of my time here, when one of my very good friends sat in my car with me, after having just faced some terrible situations together, knowing that we will soon be departing for different areas of the country, and said "I hope that we will always be friends." That is the ultimate wonder of the way God works. Our physical proximity will always be temporary, but the effects can truly last forever. Isn't that what happened with Christ? His time here certainly got cut short because of some really awful things, but the effects of his relationships have been eternal.

Much more I could say, but now I am headed across the river with a friend to wait in the half-mile long line at the hole-in-the-wall City Cafe. Looks like I'll have me some fried okra twice today. Life is good.