Why I Appreciate State School (Part 1)

Next weekend is the 50th annual National Campus Ministry Seminar. I will be attending this event for the sixth time and am actually privileged to teach a class at this one. This event has had me thinking a lot lately about my undergraduate experience in college and about how those years dramatically changed and formed my life. I was thinking about that in a particular way the other day when a friend of mine shrugged off his college experience as nothing more than a waste of time in a place he didn't care about. I mourn for those who went through that period of life without the radical road of experiences, growth, and transformational people that I was somehow placed upon. So much of who I am right now has been a result of those four and a half years. And in my mind, so much of that is because of the nature of the kind of school I went to - the 27,000 student mega-institution of the University of Oklahoma.

I have been out of undergraduate school for two and a half years, and have subsequently worked in ministry at another school very similar in scope to OU and have done graduate work at two relatively small Christian colleges. This has begun to give me plenty to think about in retrospect regarding my college experience. I loved OU and everything about OU. But when I think back on what changed me so much during those years, it was a lot of things that are much bigger than OU itself. Universities of OU's ilk are often referred to as "state schools." The idea of the state school carries very different images and conotations, depending on who is considering the subject. Objectively, state universities are higher educational systems that are established by state governments and are at least partially funded by tax dollars. Therefore, these institutions are not controlled or governed by any particular interests or groups except for its founding governmental system.

What makes this interesting in my life is that as a senior in high school, I had narrowed my college choices down to a gigantic state-run school and a small, religious, conservative, private college run by Churches of Christ. In a move that defied even what I had come to expect, I chose the former. Suddenly I was faced with the reality of living in a place that was huge, didn't care what I did at any moment, and had no "rules" to speak of. A place where almost any and every kind of lifestyle was condoned, every kind of idea was fair game, and where the people came from every kind of place, background, and belief. When I moved into the seventh floor of Couch Center during the Fall of 1999, I became neighbors with atheists, Christians, homosexuals, prudes, drunkards, Bible-study leaders, frat boys, cowboys, Indians, Pentacostals, Jews, blacks, whites, and every kind of international student. Coming from a relatively homogenous social community (even at public high school), one of the first things I had to learn was to not assume anything about anyone. Life was sometimes loud, lonely, unpredictable, and completely unscheduled (except for classes, but even those are optional). Basically I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything that I didn't want. Nobody was there to enforce anything over me. That's glorious freedom, right? Well, freedom made me completely uncomfortable. I had never realized the freedom that this state school life brought until I was at the Freshmen orientation camp during the summer before school started. There was a large activity happening on the Thursday night of camp and one of the students in my group asked my counselor if we had to go. His reply: "I don't care what you do. You are adults." That was a watershed moment for me because for the first time I was part of something that put every decision squarely into my own lap. Suddenly I realized that whatever life I led in this place was going to happen only because I chose it.

This makes questions of identity become very sharp. Nobody in the university is telling you what to believe or do, nor has any expectations of any. But there are voices all around. Everyone has something to say, or something in which to participate. Looking at a typical dorm bulletin board will reveal ads and announcements for fraternity rush, Hillel Jewish group, a band party, an indie rock concert, a feminist lecture series, a Campus Crusade for Christ BBQ, a keg party, a College Republicans meeting, and a Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Transsexuals Association event, among others.

In this place, life hands you a menu that contains every imaginable way of living and thinking. It cordially says "Look it over. I will be back momentarily to take your first course order."

To be continued...

I am a web nerd. I understand this and have accepted it about myself. So, this post is for web nerds, but I feel will someday affect most of us.

I am a prolific user of Google services, and not just search. Google Groups, Google Email, Google Spreadsheets, Froogle, Google Checkout, Google Maps, Google Earth, Google Pages, Google Desktop, Picasa, Writely, etc, etc, etc. One thing that Google is doing that is fairly new on the technology scene is creating products that are web-based replacements of local computer-based applications. Almost all of their products and services are entirely or almost entirely web-based. They are really getting serious now, especially with Office-type applications. Another thing that Google is doing behind the scenes is buying up tons and tons of infrastructure and bandwidth for what looks like a future of universal free wireless web access across the nation. What this adds up to in my mind is the future release of an entirely web-based Google Operating System. And it will be free. Storage will be web-based, all the applications will be web-based, and everyone's entire OS, files, settings, and customizations will be available to anyone on any computer that is using GoogleOS. The server-based computer is not a new idea, but I believe Google is going to actually be the ones to make the best attempt yet to making it a reality.

I, for one, welcome our new Google overlords.

There's an old saying about the word "assume." As in, it has a way of making an a.... well, you know.

Assumptions of bad faith are particularly dangerous. I've learned that this often comes at the hand of miscommunication or non-direct communication, and can establish walls between between people that can be difficult to remove, especially if the bad faith itself is never communicated. When assumptions of bad faith happen between close friends, it can be even trickier because it hurts the trust level that is so vital to any kind of healthy relationship.

That's why there has been an incredible invention of mankind called the "benefit of the doubt" (BOTD). The BOTD is certainly not the solution, but serves as an optimistic holding mechanism until the issue can be directly addressed. This generally works in the favor of both parties because I have found that, despite the amount of ill will in the world, people are mostly good to each other and a majority of occurrences that seem to indicate otherwise are simply the result of, as I said earlier, miscommunication or non-communication.

So, I commit to pulling out my BOTD card placing it in the front of my relationship toolkit. I hope all of you will do the same, because I know there have been or are going to be times when I will need it from you.

Man, just one of those days. Nothing particularly wrong with it but you just wish you could do it over.

Today I learned that Wilson Steen died. Wilson was a man at my college church who did nothing but make life happy for everyone around him. He had mental and physical difficulties that kept taking blows at him, but his only thoughts were his passionate love for God and his concern for others. Wilson could barely write but he sent a birthday card to every person in the church every year. I still have one of mine. And a card that he sent when my grandfather died.

It seems that the core of the Christian life is about living for others. I fail at this miserably. What's more is that I keep noticing that some of the people who have the best reasons to be completely concerned with themselves are sometimes the ones who do the best job of thinking of themselves the least. I know that a few of our shepherds had to talk with Wilson once because he was so cut to the heart all of the time by the messages and worship at church that he was always coming forward. He just wanted to love God. He often sat near the front, by himself, but he didn't care. He still loved everyone.

We keep waiting for Jesus to come back with huge dramatic earthquakes, trumpets, raptures and other apacalyptic yadda yadda. Sometimes I wonder if he already quietly walks among us, sending us birthday cards.

Tomorrow I head for New Orleans, where I'll spend a week gutting houses, helping with a VBS, hanging out with locals, and who knows what else. It's great to have the opportunity to be used this way. I really don't know what the city is going to look like at this point -- unfortunately I never got to see the pre-hurricane city. God has certainly used this situation to mobilize the faith and goodness of a lot of people, and to develop new ties between people. My Abilene church (Southern Hills) has formed a two year partnership agreement with the Carrolton Avenue church in New Orleans, which will result in a lot of financial assistance, labor teams (which is what I'm doing), and spiritual encouragement. Apparently it was one of the few churches to continue to meet after the storm, even though the building was flooded and everything destroyed.

I'll be back next Friday night, Lord willing, with stories and photos. Stay tuned.

This past Saturday marked my first full year in Abilene, Texas. So far that makes 18 years in Tulsa, 4 1/2 years in Norman, 10 months in Tuscaloosa, 8 months in Tulsa, and 1 year in Abilene. Compared to a lot of people, that is not very many places. But I am obviously still on a journey and God has sent me to some very significant locales, each one having its own set of incredible experiences and people. Abilene has been no different.

On July 1st, 2005, I was ready to come to Abilene but in many ways resistent to it. I knew that Abilene was a stop I needed to have in this bigger life plan that I have managed to develop, but was not wholly convinced of that idea myself. It presented many things that I viewed as significant challenges - officially getting out of "full time" state school campus ministry work, going into the Christian school world that had rubbed me wrong for so long, and being part of a system of academic theology that is self-serving and egotistical, among others. But at the same time I knew that there are reasons that God was sending me here. I have found some of those. Some amazing people. Life-changing friends. New ideas and ways of thinking. Ministry opportunities. Increased maturity. Much like my years at OU and my 10 month stint in Alabama, I will have life-long friends from these Abilene days. Some of those amazing friends have already left Abilene ahead of me but will be people with whom I hope to always be in touch. I have slowly begun to learn the ways of a university world that is very different than what I had come to know. And with that comes a larger appreciation for its advantages.

Several months ago I was offered the opportunity to leave this world and return to the full-time state school campus ministry life. It was very tempting. But I am still convinced, as I was when I moved here, that God still has more up his sleeve and has brought me to Abilene for some significant reasons that are still yet to be discovered. As crazy as it feels to say it, Abilene is my world right now.