This is my first time ever to not be doing something strange, interesting, or exciting with people on New Year's Eve. I came back to Abilene deliberately yesterday after spending some quality time in Norman, so it is by design that I am at my Abilene house alone tonight. Last year at this time I was shouting with 100,000 people in Bricktown, Oklahoma City, in the middle of a group of close friends. The year before that I was driving two of my closest friends between the Festival of Lights in Chickasha, OK, and Oklahoma City, drinking hot chocolate in the car and watching fireworks from the top of a deserted parking garage. The next day I would be leaving for Alabama. New Year's has always been accompanied by great experiences.

Which is why I guess I chose to drive the lonely roads back to west Texas this year and sit at home with a book and a blog. Those memories, particularly the last two years, have been made fresh for me lately and I suppose instead of writing them over with new experiences (as logical as that is), I'll just be content right now to ponder their meaning for me. Those experiences feed very deeply into what may be a giant fork in the road coming my way in the next few weeks and months, but I don't know. My life for the last few years has been a fascinating series of surprise events, the pattern of which has yet to cease. A new chapter on an old story may be about to be written, but I don't know.

But for now, wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I pray that God blesses you with an amazing 2006. Now back to Mr. Thoreau.

Merry Christmas!

I have a confession to make. I have taken my Tulsa friends for granted.

When I left Alabama with a U-Haul trailer on October 31st, 2004, I headed back to a world where the only people I really knew were my family. I loaded my life into the garage and proceeded to drift for a while, burned out on people, especially church people.

But one day I was sitting in my room and I pulled up the Memorial Drive church website, and the first thing that caught my eye was something that I needed to hear - "A Place to Start Life Over." I'm not sure why I suddenly decided that was something to look at. Nevertheless, I knew I needed a spiritual family, and was pleased to see that they had a campus group. Maybe this was my chance. Little did I know that I would find the Holy Spirit at work in his people again.

From the very beginning, this was a family of amazing people that took me in and surrounded me with a kind of spirit that I badly needed. The guys welcomed me into their accountability group, where I was able to be honest about every aspect of my life, while at the same time rebuilding my ministry of challenging others to greater depth. As a family we experienced times of great triumph, challenges, and unexplainable interventions by the Spirit. In my short seven months of involvement I grew to know people that I will appreciate forever. They all even threw me a huge going away party when I left for Abilene.

However, I have realized that when I left Oklahoma behind for Texas, in many ways I dropped them from my life as well. I was honest with them up front that I originally only wanted Tulsa to be a pit stop on my way through to the next thing. I obviously developed quite a life there in my short stay, but when the door to Abilene opened, I think I resumed that attitude and zoomed out of town without looking in the mirror.

This is my first major return home since I left in July, and, thankfully, my spiritual family here has taken me back in like I never even left. They were even on the phone to me before I left Abilene, making sure I was going to be around. I haven't even been back five days and I've already been to their houses, spilled my latest struggles with the men's group, feasted at the traditional El Chico run, stolen gifts at Dirty Santa, and dominated at volleyball. Maybe not dominated. I'm sure there will be more traditional hang-outs at Shades of Brown Coffee Shop (which I took a few people to one night and now the ministry has taken it over almost) and who knows what else. The bottom line is, in the past several months of building a new life in Abilene, I have forgotten what an amazing time I had in Tulsa and the people who touched my life during that time. Being back has reminded me. And I'm thankful.

Holy Grounds Tulsa

Over the past couple of days my world here in Abilene has become a ghost town. Classes have ended and almost everyone I know has beat a path out of town for the winter break. Which leaves me to deal with myself for a while, until I finally meander up towards Oklahoma. For the first time since school started back in August, I feel like I will actually have a sabbath-like Sunday tomorrow. Usually it is a process of getting up early, getting showered and dressed, heading over to prayer group, helping lead discussions at a table in the college class, worshipping at the second service, going to lunch, getting home close to 3:00, about a half-hour nap, working on LIFE Group lesson, cleaning the house, leading LIFE Group, hanging out with LIFE Group people, eating dinner, last minute study for Monday, then sleep. Worshipping will be the only item remaining on that list for tomorrow -- the rest of the time will be mine. This is a refreshing feeling. Since nobody is here now and I have no pressing school concerns (until I start reading for the January short course), I'm looking forward to using some of this time as a personal retreat to help find a center again. There are certainly some things about which I need to do a lot of thinking and praying.

Some probable themes of personal retreat time (in no particular order):

• I just have to admit that I have no clue what tomorrow looks like (both literally and figuratively.)


• Sometimes I have no idea why things happen the way they do, and what to do about it.


• What habits need to change, and how?


• What attitudes need to change, and how?


• Wisdom: Lord, I need some.

Anyway, since this town (at least my section of it) is fairly empty for a little while, this blog may become a better friend.

This morning I was challenged by the writings of a good friend to think about what makes me happy. I will combine this list with things that I am thankful for, because the two are closely related, really.

1. That God, through a thousand instances, has revealed his reality to me. And not only that, he has granted me a soul that he claims as his own, and therefore loves and cherishes as a child. It is amazing to me that God has chosen to the the kind of God he has been.


2. Good friends. My life, no matter where I have been, has been full of amazing people who teach, guide, and care for me in the most amazing ways. This always challenges me to be a better friend myself.


3. My parents. The realities of life have opened my eyes to what incredible parents I have. These are people who will, and have, gone to the ends of the earth for me and ask nothing in return. Their sacrifice has been tremendous.


4. Seeing a life transformed. I am blown away when God sends his spirit into someone's life and they begin the process of spiritual transformation. I am especially amazed to watch this happen in college students. There is nothing like going over to someone's dorm room at 2:00am to pray with them on their floor because they are so convicted about the change that God is bringing about in them.


5. My bicycle. This Schwinn 21 speed mountain bike has been through some rough times - being stolen and abused, dozens of tire punctures, crashes on crazy Alabama trails, broken seats... but it has remained faithful and has allowed me to have some of the best alone time I've had. It has taken me through some scary inner-city areas as well as around the outlying lakes of west Texas, and inspired a new group of bike-riders among my friends.


6. Crepuscular rays. A good friend of mine taught me to appreciate these years ago and I have marveled at them since.


7. The abandoned grain tower next to the river in Northport, AL. This created some of my happiest memories of Alabama. From the first ventures in the dark, to camping overnight at the top and waking up a dawn, to watching fireworks, to dropping televisions, to photographing the sunset, this place was an amazing escape from some hard stresses.


8. Having the opportunity to pursue a dream. God grew a passion for ministry to college students in me that has driven my entire life's direction for several years now. Not only that, he has provided for me to pursue that direction as a full-time career. Amazing! He not only allowed for me to work in that kind of calling while at OU, but took me to Alabama to grow even more in experience, and has now brought me to Abilene for some important education to help me be even more effective in his work. What will happen next? Who knows, but God has something up his sleeve.


9. Iced tea. There's something that hits the spot about a big glass of really cold UNSWEETENED iced tea. My Iced Tea Pot by Mr. Coffee gets a workout. (Call me a commie all you want, Alabamians, but adding sugar to it kills the refreshingness.)


10. Used book stores. Are addictive like crack.


11. Being good enough friends with someone that you can find a spot on the floor in the corner of Barnes & Noble and talk for hours without ever running out of things to say.
    
12. The storytelling of Garrison Keillor. One of my most tranquil memories of growing up is laying on my bed on Sunday afternoons listening to the latest News from Lake Wobegon. One of my proud moments was seeing him live at OU.


13. Walking across campus and running into tons of people I know. One of the benefits of getting involved with the life of a (relatively) small university is that you're pretty much assured of always seeing people that you know. There's a small pleasure in not even being able to walk from the student center to the Bible building without being called out by ten people.

That's it for now. I'll probably add more to this list as I think of things.

Tonight at High Impact Praise I was really touched to know that the Southern Hills leadership recognizes that many of the hundreds and hundreds of students who show up there on Wednesday nights are going to be returning home within the next week to homes and families that cause nothing but pain and heartache to them. They recognize that so many of these students are here in Abilene as an escape from the loneliness and dysfunction that they know as "home." For so many university students, the only semblance of normalcy they know is the family they find in the people around them at school, if they even find that. So, for far too many, "happy holidays" doesn't mean a whole lot, nor is the "break" really that. Tonight they begged for these students to pass a note in so that they can be prayed for by name over the break. I thank God that we are recognizing, as a Christian community, the realities of what so many face. Our world, and definitely including our campuses, is filled with people who don't live the life of the Waltons.

On a lighter note, our LIFE Group will be hitting the streets tomorrow night for some sweet caroling action. What's that you say? It's going to be a balmy 19 degrees at that time tomorrow? Bring it on! Besides, we have some wussy Californians who need to suck it up to the cold. Thanks to Kathleen for organizing our outing!